Over six hours of Death Wish

In case you are ever super bored, here are all the four deathwishes. I've only seen two and four all the way through. I've probably seen parts of one and three while I was a kid, but I don't know the story line. I wonder if it has something to do with being a vigilante and killing gangsters like the other two?

New SBD dancing champion

I really don't know how we didn't have an SBD label before, so now it exists.

I used to think Jean Claude Van Damme had the most SBD dance, followed by Carlton's dance. You have probably seen his famous drunk dance in "Kickboxer" but here's a hilarious video from a movie from before he was famous and just in the background



So who is the new champion?

Mario Lopez (Slater) from Saved By the Bell. My goodness... there isn't one move in here that IS NOT SBD.



Look what Mario Lopez does when someone tries to steal the SBD title away from him:



just to re-iterate, he was not defending his woman's honor. he was defending his SBD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE from the very sbd Val Venis, whose name rhymes with pal penis.

To understand the Ballers

To understand the Ballers, you must first become a baller.

How do you become one? You must study the many fields of knowledge. The courses you must take include the following:

1 year of Borat

2 years of Norris

2 years of Schwarzenegger

2 years of Stallone

1 year of Justkidding films

3 years of NBA

1 year of FPS games: elective of CS, COD, or BF

4 years of elementary Vietnamese

4 years of Jesus and "forgiveness"

1 year of faking accents (Viet, Kazahk, French, Russian, Mexican, etc.)

1 year of SBD

1 year cumulative of Power Rangers and Fresh Prince

1 year of WWE

1 year of Robocop

an elective in any Van Damme or Seagal studies

optional honors course: Bronson studies

These courses will allow you to understand the Ballers when they use intellectual jargon such as "a woman is like a mustard seed" or "suh suh ayah!". Or you can learn to use the colloquial "get to the choppa!" while slurring to one side of the mouth or "verryy naice". Perhaps you can also learn to understand the perjorative "duuuu you!" or "mudabitch right in the va-chim!". You will also understand elite airsoft tactics such as firing a gun from the hip in the middle of the battlefield. If you study your electives well enough, you will learn that repeated kicks to the side of the torso or quick hand slapping to the neck are the two most dangerous moves in the history of martial arts.

So if you want to join the elite circle of "insiders", you must learn, only then can you become part of the "inside" jokes.

Here's a lesson free of charge: