Writer Profiles

First Post:

Spartan Warrior Proverb 
This is my shield.
    I bare it before me into battle, but it is not my own.
       It protects the brother on my left.
          It protects my city.
             I will never let my brother out of its shadow,
                nor my city from its shelter.
                   I will die with my shield before me, facing the enemy.

We are the real men . We are on a mission from God. We are jocks and geeks. We are comfortable with our sexuality, but we're straight. We're not homophobic, but we call everything gay. We don't know how to interact with women. No half-hug bulls***, we hug it out like real men. And we dry hump like it's no tomorrow.

Yippee Ki-Yay MFs!

Willy Bob: Willy Bob

An extremely smart and sexy female with great hair and a great face. Willy Bob is not just some silly fob. Nice, sweet and generous are words that go along with Willy Bob. She is funny and giving. Not a slut by any means but does like to have a good time. Always ready to party and her phone is always ringing. She will even fly to another state for a house party. She is self confident and blessed with good genes. She just has it all; all other girls are extremely jealous of her.

"You know what's a sexy girl's name? Willy Bob".

Bryan: Mac

the best person in the world. he's one in a million. he's polite, kind, thoughtful, and freaking hilarious. there is never going to be anyone like him. i love him more than any boy.
person one- 'hey are you hanging out with bryan today?'
person two- 'hell yeah i am. he totally rocks.'
person one- 'hellllllll yeah!'

Jonathan: Frosty

someone who will always say the right thing, He'll sometimes be shy, but he'll respect everything you do. he's very handsome, brings the heat all day, and will look good no matter what. Sometimes, he will take your breath away. He's a dream, picture-perfect, a complete sweetheart. No one could do any better than a jonathan.
"No matter what happens to me, good or bad, I can be happy because I have a Jonathan"

Tony: Tonster

This is a noun used to describe a man with certain characteristics. These include mental and physical strength, the overwhelming desire to do the best he can in everything he does, including giving pleasure to his partner, an over-sized p****, the ability to drink massive quantities of beer, and the total lack of fear in most situations.
"That guy Tony is a badass."

Christopher: CP

Christopher is a boy. He is something special. He is smart,and funny, and completely adorable. Guaranteed you will not meet anyone like him in your lifetime, so if you do meet him, you should be greatful. He is a good friend and he would do anything for anyone. Christopher is awesome. love him.
"oh-em-gee, he is such a Christopher"

Joseph: 401k

He is a beautiful, terrible being. A destroyer of worlds. The conquerer of tax returns. He is all that is man. A father to all. He will rule the world with his iron fist and see that only the strong prosper.
"Did you hear how much that guy got back on his tax returns!?"

Khoa: Khorn

What more needs to be said then CORN! Bada ding ding ding ding. But really though, Khoa is much more than his Nebraskan stereotype. For one thing, he isn't a redneck. He also likes com (rice) more than corn. 

He's very intelligent. He has a subtle sense of humor. Sometimes its so subtle you didn't know you were supposed to laugh. Khoa will be there for you. He will drive Bao home for you when no one else wants to do it. He will come up all the way to Rowland Heights because he doesn't want to be alone in the weekend. Khoa is a mfing man.

But most important about Khoa:
"He can tell you all the advantages to using corn oil"

 Kitty: Kittens with Mittens
A special girl who makes cat calls at her television and does killer Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. You’re guaranteed to have a whale of a time when you’re with her. She’s friendly, cute and pure of heart.

“Get down beluga whales! Get down again! Meow!”

 Russia: Mother Russia
Owner of the world’s two largest missiles, she is someone who shakes your confidence daily and will make you get down on your knees. She is loyal to her friends, but if you cross the line with her…you’re getting stabbed and thrown off a Mexican corn cart.

“You mess with her, you’re messing with Russia.” *cues La Cucaracha horn