My Trip to St. John's Seminary

As I was telling Ceci earlier about our trip the seminary, she accidentally said seminar. Then my Latin education kicked in and I recognized that those two words come from the root word semen, which means seed. As in things can sprout forth from those three: priests, ideas, babies. I will have to remove this paragraph for the kid version of BiA lol. At least now you will know that there is truth to the quote: "jizz is like a mustard seed" ...

Btw, if you haven't seen any of the pictures of twitter, go over there and check out the posted links: www.twitter.com/biaftw

Okay now to my main point. I enjoyed the day alot! The day was perfect because I was with Jon and Tony so there's endless jokes. But even if I had gone alone, I feel that I would have a good time. Here's why: The most important thing I took away from this trip wasn't learning how priests live and study.

The biggest thing is that we will always keep our sense of self no matter what. People change slowly over time, but only because those changes make us happy. So why fear change? If it happens, it's because you chose to make that change! Therefore, why do so many young men fear becoming a priest? Are they afraid that they will lose their personality and become prayer robots? That's probably the main fear. But I'm here to tell you that priests can be cool. If a priest is socially awkward, it's probably because he was like that before he became a priest lol.

I'm not afraid of becoming a priest. I am 100% open to it. I am not afraid of change. For example: I preach self-defense, but who knows, maybe one day I can become one of those "turn the other cheek" types. As I said before, change isn't bad because we would only do so if it makes us happy.

So what makes us happy? The key thing here is that we were all made to find love. At the age of 24, I will propose boldly: The purpose of life is to love. As Catholics, we are called to live in a relationship with God. That's the only love that sustains. I believe marriage is a special love, but it is only sustained by the grace of God. Marriages stand no chance without divine help. It's God that gives us the humility to say sorry, and the patience and endurance to go through tough times. So even if you don't become a priest, it sounds ridiculous to say you don't need a special connection with God. We can all agree that we need to search for God in our lives no matter what we become.

In the same way, men who become priests choose so not to make the world a better place, or for honor, but they do it because they fall in love with Jesus. What a great thing! Who doesn't want to experience the love of God? Others experience it through different forms, such as through marriage. But priests fall in love with Jesus and his Church. It lifts their hearts like an embrace from a loving partner.

In summary, we should take comfort in knowing that we will become what makes us happy!

But anyway to be honest with you, I don't have any inclinations on becoming a priest. I sometimes think about how the job would be, and I think I'd do a decent job. My homilies would have a dual goal of inspiring their hearts but also keeping them awake. It has been said that laughter is the language of the soul :-) But like I said, I don't have inclinations because I'm not "in love" with Jesus. We should all fall in love with Jesus, but the call of vocation is a special one. Like I said, I don't fear the call of duty. I just don't have the call. At least I don't think so. To be honest with you, I don't even know what it feels like for God to speak to me. I do believe, but it's almost a blind faith. Reason does not line up with faith most of the time, but I've put that aside and just decided to trust in God.

So in the meantime, I will follow my dreams: become a doctor, change the world through service and spreading love, bring honor and dignity to the downtrodden, bring love and hope to those who despair, and try to find God in every step along the way.

Lastly, I do want to say that I kinda miss being in love. Not in a desperate way. But I do sing along to love songs sometimes. Why? Because love is a beautiful thing, but I don't ever stress about how or when it will arrive. But I still enjoy the idea of being married and sometimes I feel like praying for my future wife, even though there's no face on her yet. And even more so than thinking of marriage, I think dating is super fun. I think "the hunt" is exciting. I know I would have alot of fun bantering with a witty girl with a great sense of humor. And I also know that I love being a knight in shining armor: doing things like writing poems, planning surprises, etc... I already try to be a knight in every day life and I enjoy it. But it's not quite as special as when you're in a relationship. So in that sense, I think I would be happiest if I met the girl of my dreams. But who knows...

Anyway, sorry if I jumped around alot, but I'm just typing what I'm thinking. Here's my summary: Priests aren't happier than lay people because they are priests, they are generally happier because they are closer to God. But married people can be holier than priests and be happier than priests. But that doesn't matter to me. What matters is what pulls your heart strings, what makes you fall in love? That is life's greatest gift, and I highly anticipate it. I don't know what it is but I don't stress. I can see myself being happy no matter what path I take. I just enjoy the journey, and it feels great :-)

Superior or Douche

I read today's Gospel on my email from www.dailygospel.org and I immediately thought of Jon's S or D segment.

When he saw their faith, he said, "As for you, your sins are forgiven."
Then the scribes and Pharisees began to ask themselves, "Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who but God alone can forgive sins?"
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them in reply, "What are you thinking in your hearts?
Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'?
But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins''--he said to the man who was paralyzed, "I say to you, rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home."
He stood up immediately before them, picked up what he had been lying on, and went home, glorifying God.

This is totally superior. Get owned, Pharisees! Get owned!

Where does the mind end and the soul begin?

I started wondering where does the soul begin (physically and temporally), and when does it end? I've found this topic to be very interesting to me. And it's something that's always been in the back of my mind as I've studied biology and religion. And after years of pondering, I think I have my answer.

One of my favorite passages from the Bible describes God molding us in the womb, like a potter with a clay masterpiece. And it says before we were formed, God knew us. It's such a beautiful message, and it leaves me with no doubt that the soul is created before we were physically made, and put into our human form at the moment of conception.

We don't have any memories as a baby, and I'd say that babies can't think rationally. Any actions are probably out of instinct, like crying when they need something. Does that mean that the soul inside us is worthless as a baby? I'd say no. Humans consist of two properties: the flesh and the spirit. Our soul is timeless and makes up our spirit. Our mind (and being able to think) is part of the flesh along with the body.

Here's how I define the difference between our mind and soul. The mind is part of the flesh and not the spirit because some are born with genetic deficiencies, and others have debilitating injuries. For example injuries to specific parts of the brain will cripple some specific aspect of rational ability such as long term memory, being able to recognize faces, being able to understand sounds as words, being able to understand written characters as words, etc. It's painfully clear to me that our ability to think is confined to the here (physical) and now (temporal). Some people want to believe that their memories and rationality are eternal; that their mind is more than their body. I used to want to believe that too, but I can't deny what I've learned in neuroscience. For example... sometimes you smell something and you get a random memory. It may not be a flashback, but you get a feeling of an emotion from some time in your life. Sometimes when I use Clearasil, the scent gives me emotions and excitement of being a teenager again. The reason this happens is because the area of your brain that processes smell is related to the amygdala, the part of your brain that is in charge of emotion and memory. Speaking of which... do you wonder why women have better memory of fights and "keeping points" than men in a relationship? They are more emotional, which hyperactivates this part of the brain. Almost anything we think or feel can be explained by neuroscience. Our minds are always changing, it can't be the eternal soul. Tomorrow you will be a different person physically and mentally than you are today. It's only the soul that is the same. Therefore I believe the soul, being eternal, is separate from our ability to reason.

I would define the soul as the part of us that chooses whether to sin or not. This leaves no excuses for our behavior. You can't say you aren't liable for beating up someone due to roid rage or PMS, you still have a choice. The mind allows us to weigh the factors on a decision, and the soul is the final decider. When we sin, we know it, and in that moment we would rather do the sin rather than follow God's rules. The idea of a "conscience" is the part of our soul that tells our mind whether something is right or wrong. Our soul gets judged by God at the end of our lives. God may be tough, but he is fair. God judges us on what we know, what we choose, and every little factor.

As an example to show the difference between mind and soul, what happens to a person that gets severely damaged in the head and loses most of their intelligence? Of course the "mind" takes a nosedive, but the soul is still there and still the same. Their ability to do great things in life is gone, but so is the ability to commit horrible evils. Their range of behavior is greatly restricted, but they can still choose to do good or bad within those restrictions.

This goes back to my earlier point that a soul is judged based on what a person knows and the conditions they are in. In math terms, it's not the absolute value but the relative value. Of course an adult can do more absolute good in the world than a child, but who loves God more? A child can glorify God by loving their parents and laughing. They are without sin. Their relative rate loving God is 100% and it can't go any higher. Whereas an adult could be a good Catholic but still only love God at 25% of what they are capable of. Who is greater? The child is. I think that's what Jesus meant when he said we must be like children to enter God's kingdom. The relative rate is what matters, the mental capability does not matter. For example, Saint Ignatius (founder of the Jesuits) was more intellectual than Saint John Vianney (who struggled through seminary). But they are both saints because they gave 100% in their own ways.

Some people say life isn't fair. I'd agree, but I would phrase it as life is random. We don't get to pick our physical bodies. But that doesn't mean you can't work out to be in as best shape as you can. In the same way, we aren't given equal intelligence and reasoning, but that doesn't mean we can't try our best to glorify God with our lives.

Our soul is the part of us that reaches out for God. It doesn't matter the state of our mind or reasoning, what we do with what we can do is all that matters. For example, Pope John Paul II spent the last years of his life mentally wasting away due to Alzheimer's Disease (and also Cha Nghiem). As their mental capabilities eroded, do you think they loved God any less? Of course not, if anything their love increased.

Another difference is that we can only attain faith through the soul, not the mind. Faith comes to the soul through the Holy Spirit as a grace. There's no way to find God through reason (aka science). In my opinion, years of philosophy and theology will never give the same happiness and inspired purpose as a simple sight at the beauty of nature. I will never argue with an atheist that God is in nature. I'm just saying that these are the little tidbits that God graces us with. It's these little things our souls tell us that God exists. And then we have the free will to follow God or not.

So when does our soul depart our body (and mind)? Some probably think when our mind is gone. But I think the soul stays there, even with mental degradation. It only leaves when we're dead, mentally and bodily. So even if someone transforms into a vegetable, their soul does not lose value. And since our souls are connected to bodies while we're alive, the value of a life is infinite no matter how bad it gets. We need to leave it to God to decide when a life starts and ends.

I'm not really trying to prove a point, I wrote this just because it was something of an "Ah hah!" moment for me, and I wanted to share my thoughts. But if you're looking for something to satisfy you after reading this long post, I would say I just made my case against abortion and euthanasia. But for someone who doesn't believe in God or souls, this argument wouldn't matter.

Here's something else that I'm curious about. If I have Alzheimer's and die and go to heaven, what state of mind will I have? Will I be at my most intelligent? Or will I be simple? To answer this, I bring up another common question that has a good answer. If a good man remarries after his first wife dies, who will he be with as his wife in heaven? The answer is neither. He will be see both of him, but heaven is about happiness due to being with God. Earthly things don't matter. All three will be infinitely happy, but not because of each other. Similarly I think when we die, we will be blessed with not only God's love but God's wisdom. We will understand everything. And so we'd probably be more knowledgeable and wiser than we ever were on earth.

Examining My Faith

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Victims-husband-tells-of-wifes-caring--126096353.html?fb_comment_id=fbc_10150321214985792_18489213_10150321285525792#ff603d5d4

Read that first. And watch the video on that page.

If you were too lazy to read, the summary is that a crazy Vietnamese man killed his wife and her family, six in total, all were Vietnamese aged 16-29. Some of them were Huynh Truong at their local church.

To be clear, I'm not doubting my faith, I'm questioning it. It's only through questioning that it can become deeper and stronger. My faith gets examined every time things like this happen. This reminds me of the time that Vietnamese people were on pilgrimage to the annual Marian celebration and the bus crashed and many people were killed. Jesus they were on pilgrimage! Why did it have to happen? That case was worse because in cases of murder like this I can attribute it to the evil that can happen due to free will. The murderer caused it due to the evil in his heart. In other words, I blame the devil.

That's the thing about me, I need to blame someone for events. I can always forgive later but I need to blame someone first. But is it right to blame God? After all, no one is sinless, even those on pilgrimage. But they were TRYING. Saints are sinners who keep trying and never give up. Why would God cut their lives short when they were trying? But anyway, it's not so much about the ones who died, they went to heaven. It's about those that are left behind. It's not fair to them at all. Their lives are broken and they are left to pick up the pieces.

I still want to think that I have control over my life. God demands difficult things from us, and I wish I could be fully trusting, I wish I could turn the other cheek when I receive unfairness. I think I can pinpoint the reason though. I've always try to connect to God through reason, and almost never through love. I can see love of God through my community, but I've never tried to establish that true personal love. I've seen my role models accept whatever happens to them, and pray to accept his will rather than to change his mind. They inspire me. It blows me away because I am totally incapable of that.

Embracing your enemies is one thing, it's doable. But to embrace suffering is something totally different. It involves complete trust, and I am not there yet. The only thing I can do is to pray for faith and for God to give loving grace to those who suffer most.

In Case You've Been Living Under a Rock...

There was a trial case where a mother (25 year old Casey Anthony) who allegedly murdered her two year old daughter and hid her body for at least a month. And yesterday she walked away with not guilty on all counts against her except for lying to the police. The interesting thing about our jury system is that they don't declare anyone innocent, they can only declare the defendant not guilty. The prosecution either sucked or didn't have enough conclusive material to get the verdict. I've read alot of the proof that was provided, and I am 99% sure Casey Anthony killed her daughter, stemming mostly to how she behaved after her daughter went missing (went partying, entered a "hot body" contest... etc) But the thing is, the defense claimed that her daughter accidentally drowned herself in the pool, and that the mother did irrational things to conceal her pain, due to the dysfunctional family and upbringing that she had. I'd like to call bullshit, and I'm sure the jury did too. But the jury was given direct instructions from the judge, and those instructions are that you can only give someone a "guilty" verdict if the evidence leaves no room for reasonable doubt. The problem here as I said was that the hard evidence was lacking, and the prosecution could only make a shoddy attempt at motive. So there was indeed room for "reasonable doubt".

Anyway, I believe a murderer walked away free. It's one of the downsides of our Bill of Rights. But it's still better for criminals to have these rights than to not. But I am of the opinion that it's better to let a murderer walk free than an innocent get the death penalty. These laws do their best to prevent wrongful convictions. An innocent who is sentenced to death is horrible. But for the other case, no one who is guilty can ever walk away free, they will be judged by the one who knows all. As much as I think Casey Anthony to be guilty, I don't really know for sure. All I know is that if she's innocent, that's great, the right call was made! But if she is guilty, she will have her day in court. The court with the Almighty Judge. *DEAAATTHHHH*

*disclaimer* I do not wish that guilty people be damned, but I believe God provides justice. Even if murderers convert and are saved, I believe God provides justice in purgatory and/or on Earth. Except for San Dimas (the thief on the right of the cross). Lucky dude got a get out of jail card haha.

Idle

As i'm cleaning my room today i came across several items that left me in a dilemma. Religious things such as prayer books, bibles, crosses, all stuff that i've gotten as presents for a religious occasion or from a religious person. WTF DO I DO WITH THEM!? I can't throw them away, just feels like a sin lol.



AYUDA ME!!!!!!
-j.frosty

A Lesson About Palm Sunday

Did you know that Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey (a beast of burden), rather than a war horse? This reminds us that Jesus came to lead by service to others, rather than becoming a leader through conquest.

If Palm Sunday happened in modern times, Jesus would not use this vehicle:

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but rather he would use a vehicle made for service:

Historians tell us that Jesus was Jewish. But in light of these realizations, I think Jesus was a deeper sort of man. A thrifty man. Indeed, he perhaps may have been a JuMex man.

Divine Intervention

Thank you God, for sparing the lives of Andy, Rachel, Jon, and I today. Andy drove stick on a public road, thought the gas was the brake. And we nearly got into a nasty collision (the other car was going probably 30-40 miles per hour).

Bryan's ramblings

I agree with Jon about Book of Eli. 8.5 outta 10 seems right. Watch it, you won't be disappointed. Especially if you're of the demographic like us who "holds onto their guns and religion" - Hillary Clinton.

I have to mention how I feel about the Earthquake in Haiti: I feel absolutely nothing. And thats the reason it makes me SICK. Why can't I feel more sorry? When I watch the TV it feels like I'm watching a movie and it doesn't make me feel anything. Instead of stirring something in my heart, it only makes me debate many things in my head.

The first thing I start thinking is why God lets things like this happen. When I realized I didn't know much about Haiti I went to wikipedia to read up and was shocked when it said 80% of people there are Catholics. So why did God allow this to happen? Didn't God tell Abraham he would spare Sodom and Gomorrah if he found only 10 good men? I saw videos of hundreds of people attending mass over the church rubble the Sunday after the quake. Thats definitely alot of good people who still have faith. I'll tell you right now if that quake happened in L.A. and I lost my family, I would not go to church that week. I'd be pissed off.

But the thing that makes me mad the most is that this was a natural disaster. It took me awhile to answer one question: "Why does God let evil people hurt good people?" Evil isn't something defined by itself, it is merely the absence of goodness, just like how darkness can only be defined as the absence of light. Evil and Good exist only by free will, which every human being has. Sometimes good people suffer because another person decides to act evil. Fine, I can accept that. But this earthquake is different. There was no human behind this, only God. God could have stopped this earthquake if he wanted. So why didn't he? It's one thing to end the entire world's existence, but it's another thing to take away someone's family, house, and livelihood and leave them scrambling to piece together their lives. It's not fair.

I'm still trying to find the answer but thus far I've come up with these conclusions:

We live in Los Angeles. The big one can happen to us also. Be ready for it:

Make peace with God/your family/your enemies and live life to the fullest in case you die
And in case you survive, stock up on water and food (and ammo lol)

Bryan