Some Relationship Advice for Ladies

Finally, something not sarcastic.... NOT. No really here's some useful information. Pulled of course, from "Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

How can you get a man to do something for you? Ask him nicely and give him a reason why you'd like him to do it. You have to ask directly and not subtle-ly because hints to not work, we don't read body language as well. For example, if my mom tells me to vacuum the house, I will do it when it's appropriate for me, like when I'm taking a study break. So I might wait until a couple days later or even the next day. But if she says that I need to vacuum because we have guests coming over in an hour, I will drop what I'm doing and do it right away. Just don't lie. You will be like the boy who cried wolf. Or you need help moving some boxes? Tell the guy that you need help because it's a little too heavy for you. He will be more likely to do it sooner because it shows that his help is actually needed rather than just a case of you being bossy. And this is the most important about asking a guy for your help, thank him with a smile. Women like to feel cherished and loved, men like to feel appreciated and needed.

The reason you need to acknowledge him and not abuse your requests is this: a guy never asks another guy for help (like ask for directions) because he wants to do it himself. So when a guy asks another guy for help, its something rare, and another guy will not turn it down because he knows that guy wouldn't ask for help if he could do it himself. The reason men hate some women is that they are NAGGERS. That's right the N word. They can easily do many things themselves but they just direct or ask for everything. Don't abuse your privileges with your male friends. Sure you can get the pushovers to do anything you want, but a real man will call you out on it. That is why when you ask a man for help, you should give him some reason, it will encourage his subconscious mind and he is more likely to do it. And thanking him after is positive reinforcement.

Also, how do you score points with men? Besides the obvious answers of looking pretty for him and initiating intimacy, you can score huge points with men by being understanding when they have failed. [Example: when Frosty fails to cover me in Battlefield when I defuse the bomb, I'm not gonna call him a crappy sniper. He simply just missed on this one shot.] Guys treat their friends failures with the best possible gift: silence. We pretend that it never happened. So when your guy friend is driving and seems lost, give him some time to figure it out (besides if you're pushing for time, it's most likely your fault that you guys left late). If he's still lost after some time, don't accuse him of anything. Don't say "do you know where you're going?" or "we're lost aren't we?". Instead use neutral words like "this area is confusing, let's pull into that gas station and see if they can help us out". Don't make him feel inferior. Your man will appreciate you and shower you with love. Another thing, if a guy is a bad driver, try to not say anything. But if you feel afraid for your life give him specific things like "please don't follow that car so close, I'm uncomfortable". Don't say "you are a horrible driver!"

Also theres another thing you need to realize. If a guy looks tired or is not talking to you, he's just tired. He's not ignoring you. Guys relieve their stress through quietness, not through talking like women. [example: do you know what guys talk about in the restroom? nothing, we avoid each other and go to the farthest stalls away from each other.] When your boyfriend comes home from a stressful day and you want to talk to him, give him thirty minutes to himself. In fact give him a beer or soda when he walks through the door. He will appreciate it. He needs the quiet to recharge. After that half hour you can talk to him and he will be much more attentive and reciprocating than if you had not given him that quiet time.

Lastly, if you're debating or arguing, realize that we use words literally, not figuratively. If you say "this is the hundredth time you've left the toilet seat up!" I will respond with "no it's like only the seventh time" Or if you say "you never take me out on dates anymore" I will respond with "what I took you out two months ago". What happens is that it ends up worse because while you think that you're giving out a plea for help, you think we are being uncaring. On the otherhand we think we are being reasonable and we think you are batshit crazy. When you are mad at a guy, use literal words and get to the point. There is no way for us to guess what you want.


J.Frosty said...

perfect advice. sorry i missed the shot babe!

Willy Bob said...

Batshit crazy. lmao
GREAT ADVICE MAC! You men are more straight forward than I thought. I look forward to future posts in this department!

Mother Russia said...

Thanks for the advice Mac! I'll try to keep this in mind. This is why I am straight forward and don't play those games. The game of assuming and mind-reading pisses me off too lol.

One thing though, silence isn't good in every situation. Your example works, but for more serious topics, silence is crap. For example, you can't go being silent and ignoring the problem if your friend keeps flaking out on you to hang out with other people. Or what if your friend steals money from you?

J.Frosty said...

It's not remaining silent. It's giving him time to himself in the form of silence. no one is saying to ignore the problem.

you come up to a guy and address a problem as soon as he comes home from a long day and it'll come across as he is being attacked, sometimes even when it has nothing to do with him.

Willy Bob said...

I'll agree with Jon. Problems are not to be ignored, but there's a right time and places to address issues. After a long day, the last thing I want to hear is a complaining partner.

Mother Russia said...

Glad yall know problems can't be ignored. Yes, there's a right place and time. Notice how I didn't mention anything about complaining when a guy/girl just gets home from a long day.