Amiable Advice: Practice Safe Arguing

Don't you love it when an argument quickly changes from a somewhat calm disagreement to ridiculousness because someone said one thing? I believe the reason behind these arguments escalating are because people don't understand how to argue. For example:

Person 1: "I know what happened and I just wanted to know why'd you do that?"
Person 2: "Because I wanted to!"

 *corny but I couldn't think of an example =P, just think of an example that comes to mind*

This could've easily been avoided had both parties practice safe arguing. Instead of going about it like adults, both parties entered the ring and ended up paddling for life on the failboat. You can avoid the failboat by keeping in mind a few simple things to keep in mind.

Frosty's 5 Ways to Safe Argue

1. Understand the person you are arguing with as much as possible. Everyone is different in their thought process and the way they go about things. Everyone has those certain buttons that if pushed will snap their twig and launch the nuke. Figure out what those buttons are and keep from pushing them ;).

1.5 Try to listen to what the other person has to say and understand it as they do. Your point could be 100% right and you know it, However, the reason you're in an argument is because the other person has their point. Whether that person has a point or is completely wrong, it's what they're thinking and you can bet they're going to stand behind it.

2. You. Anytime you use the word "You" you are directly pointing your finger at the person you are talking to, in an argument this can be viewed as an attack and will immediately put the person in defense mode which will increase the difficulty of reaching an agreement to over 9000! AVOID AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

3.  Watch your tone. You could say one thing but come across as meaning something completely different because of the way you said it. The easiest way to keep an argument calm is by using a low indoor type voice, if you can an apologetic tone works like Jesus. Anyways, Once you cross that low voice threshold  there is absolutely (most likely) no turning back. The disagreement quickly turns into a yelling contest and will not end until one player is out of lives.

4. Watch your body language. Same as tone, keep your body movements to a calm and controlled level. Quick  and sudden movements will trigger the other person's defenses which will effect their entire attitude. Pretend the person you are arguing with has you at gun point and will open fire if caught off guard, which you must pretend the person always is.

5. Environment: An ambush is all about where you do it. If you have the ability to choose the location of where things are about to go down then try to find a place that is calm. Go to a nice quiet place, the kind of place you'd take someone on a romantic date (just less romantic). A private and secluded place can be both good or bad. Depending on the person, it might not be the best idea because the other person might feel like they're in an interrogation room.

"But sometimes, you just can't help it!" I know i know, it's hard to maintain composure when you just want to be right. But you have to understand that if you feel this strongly, the other party can easily feel the same way if not more strongly. I'm no psychologist, doctor, or magician, these are just some things I keep in mind and you can keep in mind to get through an argument as quickly and safely as possible. If you try and try, argument after argument, and you still can't reach and an agreement then *ding ding* Let's get ready to rumble!