To understand the Ballers

To understand the Ballers, you must first become a baller.

How do you become one? You must study the many fields of knowledge. The courses you must take include the following:

1 year of Borat
2 years of Norris
2 years of Schwarzenegger
2 years of Stallone
1 year of Justkidding films
3 years of NBA
1 year of FPS games: elective of CS, COD, or BF
4 years of elementary Vietnamese
4 years of Jesus and "forgiveness"
1 year of faking accents (Viet, Kazahk, French, Russian, Mexican, etc.)
1 year of SBD
1 year cumulative of Power Rangers and Fresh Prince
1 year of WWE
1 year of Robocop
an elective in any Van Damme or Seagal studies
optional honors course: Bronson studies

These courses will allow you to understand the Ballers when they use intellectual jargon such as "a woman is like a mustard seed" or "suh suh ayah!". Or you can learn to use the colloquial "get to the choppa!" while slurring to one side of the mouth or "verryy naice". Perhaps you can also learn to understand the perjorative "duuuu you!" or "mudabitch right in the va-chim!". You will also understand elite airsoft tactics such as firing a gun from the hip in the middle of the battlefield. If you study your electives well enough, you will learn that repeated kicks to the side of the torso or quick hand slapping to the neck are the two most dangerous moves in the history of martial arts.

So if you want to join the elite circle of "insiders", you must learn, only then can you become part of the "inside" jokes.

Here's a lesson free of charge:


Willy Bob said...

Give me your tears, Gypsy!

J.Frosty said...

lol that's a very demanding outline of courses, but in the end it'll all pay off.

CP said...

After you complete the course we will bestow on you a masters in balling.