Easy Mac and Jumex: car edition

The following receives BiA's Easy Mac Seal of Approval:

Imagine you're riding with me when the car gets hit by a drive-by and I'm incapacitated. Or if you're in a Ferrari dealership when zombies start attacking. You need to be get away, but you don't know how to drive stick! It's okay, I'll teach you. Just remember these five easy steps and you'll be able to zoom away on first gear (allows up to 30 miles per hour).

Step 1: Press down all the way on the clutch (the left most pedal) and keep it down until the last step. Step 2: Insert key and turn on engine. Step 3: Get the stick into first gear, by pulling left then pushing up. Step 4: Press down on the gas all the way and hold it down (at this point the car will be very loud and you won't be moving yet). Step 5: Let go of the clutch (now your tires will smoke and you will launch off). Forgot to add to the picture, the first step should be to release the hand brake if its engaged. Congratulations, you just burned the clutch and tires, but at least you didn't stall the engine (happens when there's not enough gas input).


The following receives BiA's Jumex Seal of Approval:

Lowered cars look cool. Sure speedbumps and ramps are the arch nemesis of lowered cars, but at least you get increased performance. The lower center of gravity gives your car better control and stability. Lowering springs cost anywhere from $200 to $1000 depending on quality. But I notice that when I drive a car full of people and gear in the trunk, my car looks like it's been lowered:

And then I realize, why waste so much money on lowering springs? Why not just fill the car with more weight, like say, a couple bags of concrete from Home Depot that cost a few bucks? Sure the car's performance will suck and the mileage will suffer greatly, but it will look so COOL. This is almost as good an idea as those geniuses who put wing spoilers on their Honda Civics.

Until next time, pinch those pennies and find creative solutions!


J.Frosty said...

lmao, not burning the clutch and tires is the hard part =P

as for the jumex tip. LMFAO. good idea, except you better distribute the concrete evenly or your car'll be tail heavy looking like an ese's whip.

J.Frosty said...

i forgot what my comment was... anyways

the only problem with bags of concrete is that it'll get your car dirty =P

Mac OBryan said...

blogspot went under maintenance, i thought my post was deleted entirely. anyway it came back but i think thats why your first comment is gone